A Guardsman's Diary
by Dominius
Summary: The Imperium of Man has, ironically, lost its humanity a long time ago. Explores the life of a boy and his transition from the innocence of childhood to the ruthlessness of a Guardsman.
1. Chapter 1: The Guardsboy

_Hello all, my first Warhammer fanfiction ever. Reviews please, constructive criticsm is appreciated!_

A Guardsman's Diary

Guardsman Matt Evans of the 888th Khavarian Rifles

About the regiment: Khavarian Rifles have no qualms about recruiting younglings into their ranks. Everyone on Khavar is expected to serve the Emperor without hesitation, even children. The irony of this, however, by a freak policy of the governor is that children are brought up in safe, happy lives with no mention of anything related to war until they are inducted into the Guard.

Day 1

Hooray! I have just been accepted into the Guard. My training begins tomorrow. Mommy got me this pretty diary to write my thoughts in. My mommy says it's good for me. I know it is true, everything my mommy says is good.

Had lunch of beef, rice and a few potatoes. Very yummy. My mommy cooked that as well, it tastes really nice. Daddy kept saying he was really proud of me. I am celebrating my birthday later on. It is my 10th birthday today. Am very happy, will have a nice cake to eat later on and Tim is coming over to play.

My birthday party went well. Tim didn't play much though. Tim is 12, he joined the Guard when he was 10 (just like me!!) and has seen 2 years in service of the Emperor. We all respect Tim very much. Tim used to be very jolly and made many good jokes. He made me laugh a lot. Tim is probably the second nicest person after my daddy and my mommy. Tim looked emotionless this time. He was dull and seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. Oh well. My mommy says he is older now, therefore more reclusive. I do not know why, but I do not ask. Everything my mommy says is right.

Day 2

Got my uniform today. It feels comfortable but it does not look nice at all. The uniform has three colours, green, brown and black. The colours look like it has been splotched on at random. I do not understand why. Next I have a rectangular box thing which goes over my uniform. It feels the same as my uniform and a bit stiffer than my uniform. What is the point of wearing this if there is not much difference from the uniform? It is not comfortable either. I also have a soup bowl. At least, it looks like a soup bowl, except that the big adults who gave me my stuff said I have to put it on my head. Why do I have to wear a soup bowl on my head? I wish I could ask mommy, but mommy is not here. I miss my mommy.

Met up with my group today. There were nearly 30 of us and I got to know three, Johan, Lily and Brennigan. Johan and Lily are my new friends. They are the same age as me and are very friendly. I like them and I think mommy would like them as well. Brennigan, however, is mean. He hit me in the face, saying I look like a "gretchin". What does gretchin mean? I do not know. I really wish mommy was here now. She would scold the meanie badly.

Met a new adult. He is an ever bigger meanie than Brennigan. He wears black and has many gold coins on his chest. He has a big knife, which I think is called a sword and has a shiny thing which spat fire at a wall and put a hole in it. We all became quiet after that. He told us that he was a comisuh. I do not know what that means. My mommy would scold him badly for being so mean as well. He said he would assign us a veteran to train us and let us write home once a month. I really really miss my mommy now. She seems so far away.

Day 43

Have not been able to write as I am very busy. Mommy would be sad to see what I have to go through. We have obstacle course training every morning. Brennigan takes every opportunity to take me down. He is a big meanie. He even tripped me when I was carrying my mess tray. My food fell on the floor and the comisuh made me clean it all up. When I did finish cleaning, he purposely threw the mess down on the floor and asked me to clean up again. After I did he made me eat nothing but bread for the rest of the week. I don't like the man.

Also have runs and Imperial studies in the afternoon. Runs are ok although studies are better. We are all in awe of the Adeptus Astartes, although I got scolded badly by the teacher for mistyping 'Adepta Astartes'. What's wrong with that? However, I could see our officer suppressing a chuckle. The teacher was angry, the officer was happy and I was confused. Then we have prayer in the evening. We have to worship the Emperor but I always think of mommy.

We all like the officer. He looks after us like daddy and I often see what looks like pity in his eyes. Why does he pity us? Is it not an honour to be in the Guard? In any case, he is nice to us and looks after us. Mommy would like him very much. He is commanding, although not harshly like the comisuh and he does not punish us badly when we do bad things. We all like him very much. He said he was Sergeant Merholt.

I decided yesterday to tell commissur about Brennigan. I did not want to tell Merholt as he would not have done much to Brennigan, after which Brennigan would hurt me even more. Commissur scolded me badly, he said that such people would only make me stronger. I said that my mommy would scold him badly. He said he would kill my mommy if she said such things to him. I do not understand what is kill but it does not sound nice. However he said he would punish Brennigan as he needs to display his power anyway. I don't understand what he means.

Day 44

Brennigan is not with us. Commissur dragged him onto a podium in front of all of us. He said that Brennigan did not respect the others in his group. Commissur took out his shiny thing and pointed it at Brennigan's head. Fire spat out of it and a hole appeared on the other side of Brennigan's head. The hole was red and had some white and grey stuff among it. Brennigan fell down on the ground and did not move anymore. I do not know what happened but it did not look good. Red stuff was pooling around his head. Merholt looked like he was about to hurt the commissur.

Merholt told us we would have weapons training tomorrow. He said a weapon was to fight and kill. I asked him what was kill. He said to kill was to remove life by various means like shooting. I asked him what was shooting. He considered for a moment, then said it was like what the commisur had done to Brennigan. I stayed quiet, but in my mind I realised what I had done. I realised that I had told the commisur about Brennigan and so the commissur had shooted Brennigan and therefore killed him and therefore removed his life.

I had killed Brennigan.

_Please note that several spelling errors in the chapter are intended such as the mispelling of 'Commissar' as 'comisuh' or 'commissur' to simulate a 10 year old boy writing this._


	2. Chapter 2: Training with World Eaters

Day 50

_TheFontofAllKnowledge, Furios0 -Your wishes to read more are granted : )._

Day 50

I am still thinking about Brennigan. I keep wondering what could drive the commissar to kill a child with such heartlessness. Brennigan may have been nasty but he was no heretic, merely a servant of the Imperium. I have never forgiven myself for reporting Brennigan to the commissar. I don't think I ever will.

I had my first battle today, although we are still recruits in training. The planetary defense lasers opened fire without warning and several were destroyed in the ensuing orbital bombardment. That was about the time our enemies arrived in thunderhawks. When the men first landed, I thought they were space marines. As you can expect, we recruits were all in awe of the superhuman warriors of the Imperium. They had come to save us! They wore a dark red, with brass trim and carrying customary bolters and…chainaxes? Our awe soon changed to horror as Merholt hissed these words through his lips, "World Eaters".

All hell broke loose then. I had no time then, although now I do, to wonder how the traitor scum had managed to slip through Cadia's defenses. The traitor scum opened fire, blowing apart three of the recruits who still somehow, after all their lessons, had no idea who the World Eaters were and continued to stand their ground cheering. They had paid for their ignorance. The rest of us dived for cover just as the bolter rounds flew past us. Recruit Lily, my other friend along with Johan, had her head and left shoulder blown off as she had somewhat unwisely decided to take cover behind a wood cutout that we used for bayonet practice. She learnt the hard way that wood cannot stop a bolter round. We opened fire on the traitors but it was around this time that I learnt that, and I quote the techpriest, "this tool, this blessed incarnation of the Emperor's holy wrath, this weapon that shall rain fiery death upon your enemies, shall aid you will on the field of battle. All shall stand in awe and fear of your weapon for with it you shall unleash the Emperor's judgment, this bringer of death that will cut through anything with the power of the Emperor himself, upon his foes, heretic, mutant and xeno alike. Take your lasgun, praise the Emperor and smite down his enemies with ease." Beautiful words. The "red beams of death" bounced off the chaos power armour, in some cases back at us and killing a few recruits.

I shall stop writing now. It is time for my night watch and I must be on full alert. Emperor protect me, for my flak jacket shall not. I've seen a it being pierced by a las-shot. I don't want to know what happens when a chainaxe or bolter round hits the same material.

Day 57

The chaos scum are gone. Only now do I see the full devastation that they have caused. As we patrol our sector in the city, we see civilians and guardsmen lying everywhere, either gutted, beheaded or dismembered into pieces no one can put together again. Imperial aquilas have been shattered and defiled, statues of the God-Emperor are defaced, pits are filled to the brim with blood and the worst sight of all was a mountain of mutilated bodies with a baby, impaled on a pike, hoisted onto the very top where a banner of an eight-pointed star also flew. My bile rose and I could not help but throw up. Merholt patted me gently on the back as I retched.

Why? Why must there be so much death, so much horror? I feel like my mind is about to snap. I pray to the Emperor for guidance, I cry silent tears of sadness but nothing helps. The Emperor never answers my prayers. All of us must be thinking the same thing. Our squad is given the admirable duty of body identification. Not that there was really much to identify anyway. We are supposed to look for dogtags. Half of them were found melted by unholy fire, three-quarters found chopped to pieces by what looks to be the work of chainaxes and a couple of them was found stuffed down a guardsman's throat. In our sector, nearly two thousand guardsmen had fallen to the terrible wrath of Khorne's legion. We managed to find twenty-three readable dogtags. Such is the terrible price that needs to be paid to stop the World Eaters.

Day 58

Commissar executed fifty men and children for cowardice. I have grown to hate the man. Who is this fool, this idiot, who orders us to charge into the face of KHORNATE BERSERKERS, us with bayonets that can't even pierce a toilet roll against chainaxes that can probably cut through Astartes power armour? When we charge, chaos marines shoot us. When we "initiate a tactical withdrawl" as stated in the The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer, the commissar shoots us. So there we are in a deathtrap, shot at by both sides. Is this the way the Imperium treats its soldiers? What is wrong with these people?

Strangely, though, the doomed men, women and children all look happy. They laugh as they walk onto the podium, skip along merrily and smile at the dark-faced commissar as he ends their lives with a single shot. I suppose after all that they have seen, all that they have gone through, this death is heaven compared to the deaths their comrades suffered. At the last man, the commissar ran out of ammunition. A guardsman quickly brought forth a new magazine but the commissar, in his rage, drew his saber, decapitated the poor guardsman who thought he could earn a few brownie points with the commissar by helping him out along with the "cowardly, worthless, Emperor-failing dog".

Although it may seem slightly mad, Johan and I have a plan to kill the commissar. If the commissar reads my diary now, I am in serious trouble. Well, not really, the most he can do is kill me. Not too bad. It is nearly lights out now and anyone who is caught not sleeping by the commissar will be subject to fifty lashes of the electric whip, so I shall explain tomorrow.

_Review, or I shall unleash the World Eaters upon your homes!! Muahahahahaha!!_


End file.
